Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My list to Santa

Dear Santa,

Here is my wish list of gifts I need you to STOP putting under the Christmas Tree:
  1. New technology: if I dry hump one more person from behind because they stop short to read an email there is sure to be a warrant out for my arrest
  2. Briefcases/ Laptop cases on wheels: these are not dogs on leashes people, they are basically tripwires that leave a path of destruction behind without the owner even taking a glance back
  3. Trucks to soccer moms: seriously does every mom on LI need a truck, it is unbelievable. Santa if you do decide to bring a new 4 x 4 please brings some common sense because that seems to disappear once the keys in the ignition. It is spelt T-R-U-C-K not T-A-N-K.
  4. Outside Illumination: Now, I love Christmas lights and I can even understand Halloween lights, but seriously I have seen Valentines Day, Thanksgiving and 4Th of July lights (not fireworks)
  5. Black Jeans: These are making a comeback, I am very confused.
  6. Tight jeans on guys: Really, who? I need to know how is telling these guys that its a good look, holy crap - it even looks painful.
  7. Music now: Okay with the risk of sounding old, has anyone listened to the radio lately, I think not. Because if people were listening, the awful sounds coming from my radio would cease to exist.

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